TRP: Hansel and Larkin (Snakehunt)
Day 405, the castle "Motherfucker," Larkin muttered at the locked door. She knew Goro was in there because she'd heard him moving around, but all the knocking and calling had produced fuck-all. Something was up and Goro not wanting to see her always meant bad shit. "C'mon man, let me talk to you!" She tried again. No answer. She knocked a couple times more, briefly considered the locks, but decided she'd rather not. There wouldn't be any getting past the padlocks on the inside anyway, apart from breaking down the door. It'd probably be best to wait and let him come to her in his own time... or she could see if she couldn't get someone to snitch on him. Larkin had no idea where all the residents of the castle were but eventually they all had to get hungry so she went downstairs to set up an ambush in the kitchen. IZZY She heard clattering as soon as she got close to the kitchen -- metal, wood, ceramic, who could tell. It was just a lot of fucking noise. The door was open, though, so she didn't have to peek in to see Hansel surrounded by assorted open containers of flour, and sugar, and cocoa powder on the counters, and also a fair bit of it dashed onto the front his dark shirt. The counter was a battlefield of mixing bowls and spilled ingredients. It was difficult to tell exactly what he was in the process of baking. He muttered and swore to himself as he moved around, and didn't notice Larkin come in, scowling and glaring down at his work. JEN "Uhhh," Larkin made from the door since stepping inside seemed like a good way to get run over. "Hey?" IZZY Hansel looked over at her sharply, which he did, sometimes, 'cause he was a jumpy bastard, especially when he was pissed about something. Usually he calmed down once he saw a friendly face, but not fuckin' this time. This time he stood up straighter and started pointing at Larkin emphatically. "Fuckin' ... fuck. Yes. Yeah. Larkin. C'mere. You'll fuckin' get it. C'mere, c'mere." JEN Larkin pointed a finger at herself, eyebrows raised, but then took a careful few steps inside. "You alright, man?" IZZY "I sure fuckin' ain't. You been to see Goro?" he demanded, knowing what the answer would be. Well, shit. Unless she'd just gotten here and popped in for a bite before going upstairs. JEN "I mean, I tried. The fuck's going on?" IZZY "Fuckin' -- motherfuckin' --." He waved a wooden spoon around, too fucking angry to speak. "Goddamn motherfucking Anwyll. Raef's fuckin' patron. Piece of shit snake motherfucker --." JEN Larkin frowned. She came a bit closer still, circling around a heap of discarded baking pans on the floor, to stand next to Hansel so she could see what the fuck he was doing in here. "He done something to Goro." IZZY "Goro went to fuckin' talk to him, in a dream, that shit, y'know? These fuckin' demons and their goddamn -- dreams, and nightmares, and shit," he ranted, jabbing at the air with his spoon and flicking chocolate cake batter around. "Fuckers. Goddamn warlock patrons. Every single last fucking one of them." All right, probably not true, but fuck Diva and Anwyll, for sure. "He went to talk to the bitch, find out what his goddamn deal was, aye? Give him a fuckin' chance to explain his goddamn self. And what does that fucking snake do? You wanan fuckin' guess?" There was no real way Larkin could guess, but really, Hansel needed to take a breath. JEN "What?" IZZY "Fucking ate him. In the fuckin' nightmare, I mean," he added, but still, motherfucker. "Big ass goddamn snake, aye? Fuckin' -- fuckin' put him in this nightmare, wouldn't let him out, fuckin' swallowed him. Freaked the shit out of him. Now -- now -- fuckin' Goro, he's up there, hidin' under his blanket, ain't hardly talkin', don't even want anyone around, he's so fucked up. I'm gonna kill that goddamn snake. I'm gonna kill it." JEN Larkin blinked a couple times, gears working. The words made sense individually but together... "Fucking-- I don't-- what? Fucking what?" IZZY "I'm gonna fuckin' kill it," Hansel swore, which wasn't an explanation. "Piece a' shit fuckin' snake, givin' my goddamn husband night terrors, motherfucker --." He shoved his spoon into a bowl of batter so he could round on Larkin, lowering his voice and getting serious. Goro was too fucked up, and Mishka was being sketchy 'cause he didn't like the conflict, and sure, of course Raef wasn't gonna be onboard. But Larkin, though. Him and Larkin. "We gotta find it. Aye? Me an' you. We find that son of a bitch and we skin it." JEN "Alright, hold on. Just-- " Larkin held up her hands, then put them to Hansel's shoulders to nudge him towards the table so they could sit and have a coherent fucking conversation. "Raef? Raef's patron did that? What the hell?" IZZY Hansel nodded furiously, sort of automatically going in the direction Larkin was leading. "Motherfuckin' -- Anwyll, Lust, whatever the hell. There was a --." He gestured angrily again, sending an errant bit of batter that'd stuck to him flying off his hand. "This whole fuckin' thing, I dunno if Goro had time to tell you -- Raef was doin' some shit, readin' his aura, or somethin', and said he felt like goddamn Anwyll, somehow. I don't fuckin' know," he snapped. "I don't understand this shit, y'know? But Goro went to try t'clear it up, aye, and that goddamn snake --." JEN Larkin wiped the batter off her cheek, then stuck the finger in her mouth, buying some time. "Lemme get this straight." She tapped a nail on the table. "Raef said Goro felt like his fucking demon? And then Goro... what, fucking goes to him? Alone? And the bitch tries to fucking eat him? How the fuck-- " IZZY "I fuckin' know!" Hansel said. "That other son of a bitch, the Pride one, guess he fuckin' swooped in an' helped Goro get outta the nightmare, but fuck. Fuck!" He jabbed at the table angrily. "We can't goddamn keep doin' this shit with these fucking demons, Larkin. It's outta goddamn control. I mean, what the fuck, I don't think Raef was lyin', or anything, so what the fuck with that shit? Goddamn Diva still in Goro, or somethin'? What the fuck!" JEN A shiver went down Larkin's back at the mention of Diva and she bit the inside of her cheek. "No. No, that's not... we killed her. Diva's a pile of fucking ash. It's gotta be that snake fucker. Let's-- what's Raef doing about it? He ain't cool with that is he?" IZZY Hansel grumbled. "I don't fuckin' know. I'm sure he ain't, but --." He broke off into a growl, because he knew that snake motherfucker was important to Raef, but goddamn, he couldn't just let this shit slide. "Fuckin' complicated, I fucking guess. He's gonna talk to Anwyll, but what the fuck, right? Oh, aye, sorry I ate your friend," he drawled, "didn't know that was fuckin' rude to do to mortals. Fuck that. Motherfucker." JEN "Yeah. No." Larkin sneered. "No, fuck that. Motherfuckers' gonna learn they can't fucking pull this shit. The snake's gonna go out screamin'." IZZY "Yeah. Fuckin' yeah." He pointed at her enthusiastically again. "Fuckin' good. Knew you'd goddamn get it. Gonna make goddamn boots outta that demon." JEN "You got any idea where he is?" IZZY "I ain't got a fuckin' clue." He slammed his fist on the table. "We gotta find out. Figure it out, some way. You're smart an' shit. You hang out with a lot, right, him workin' with the Redbirds? He ever mention anything?" JEN Larkin shook her head. Raef wasn't just gonna tell them, she had a gut feeling. "He's, uh... man I dunno. He's just been acting different lately? I think? Like-- he's fucking... fucking that thing, ain't he, and it's doin' something to him." IZZY Hansel narrowed his eyes. "It fuckin' what." JEN She waved a hand, annoyed at her own incoherence. "He's been... pretty banged up a couple times, but not in a, you know, been-getting-in-a-fight way. In a fucking way. He wouldn't tell me where he'd gotten it but I bet you that fucking demon's tryin' to take a bite outta him, too. He's gotta be around somewhere nearby for that." IZZY Hansel growled. He thought for a moment. Supposed he'd noticed that himself, and not thought too much of it, given he had a tendency to leave marks himself. Wasn't gonna judge Raef and Az. But then again -- he snapped his fingers. "Hey. Hey. Fuckin' -- you ever notice anything before we got to Freeport?" JEN Larkin considered, then shook her head. "Nah. Nah, don't think so. Actually I first noticed it on the island. You thinking..." IZZY He thought about him and Raef tottering out into the jungle and fighting that naga. Snake shit. "It's in the goddamn jungle. Bet you. No one goes too deep in there 'less they're drunk or stupid." JEN "Or got a damn good reason. How're we gonna find him in there?" IZZY Hansel scratched at his beard. This was good. This was fuckin' progress. "Dunno. I ain't got any of that fuckin' trackin' magic. Could ask Luci but -- I ain't takin' my kid in there. An' Goro's too fucked up." JEN "Yeah. Hm." Those were good fucking points. "Guess we could... dunno, hire someone? On the island? Local's gotta know something." IZZY "There's these druids, live in the jungle," Hansel considered. "Maybe could find some rumors, at least." Then he scowled. "All sortsa rumor and legends 'bout snake monsters in that jungle, though. Dunno how we'd fuckin' find out the goddamn truth to any of'em." JEN Larkin mirrored the scowl. "Don't know. We gotta fucking try, though, right?" IZZY "Aye, yeah, you fuckin' bet." He tapped his fingers on the table. "Could ..." Hm. He didn't fuckin' like this idea, but. "Could maybe follow Raef. I make you a potion that turns you invisible, you creep after him when he goes to see the fuckin' snake. Have to figure out when he's goin', though." JEN Larkin grimaced. "Maybe next time he's gone for a bit we could... use the pool, y'know. The mushrooms." IZZY Hansel nodded. He really fuckin' didn't like this idea. Didn't wanna spy on Raef. But that motherfucking snake ate Goro. "Supposin' it's got, y'know, some kinda magic barrier," he said. "If it does, then we track him?" JEN "Guess so." IZZY "Don't fuckin' like it," he admitted in a mutter. "That fuckin' snake, though --." JEN "Yeah. No. Don't like it either but... god. What if it's like Diva. We can just fucking--" She waved a hand then dropped it on the table. IZZY Hansel nodded furiously. "That shit can't fuckin' stand." JEN "So how are we gonna do it? How are we gonna kill a fucking demon like Diva, just the two of us?" IZZY "Aye. No fuckin' problem," Hansel said bluntly. They were a lot fucking stronger than they had been, with Diva. JEN Larkin snapped her fingers. "I know. We blow it the fuck up!" IZZY Hansel gestured at her excitedly. "Fuckin' dynamite!" JEN "Yeah. Or... or we could catch it in its sleep and just slit it open, y'know just the whole length of it. Or however the hell you kill snakes." IZZY "Chop off the head," he said. "Kills about fuckin' anything. You're sneakier than me, though," he added thoughtfully. "Would have to make myself invisible. Y'know, real snakes ain't got that good eyesight, though. It's fuckin' vibrations, an' smells, and shit. Would have to work around that, maybe." JEN Larkin nodded, slowly and thinking it over, then faster. "Man, I know how. We're just gonna make a whooole fucking lot of noise and smells. Fucking blind all its senses." IZZY "That's fuckin' smart." Hansel pointed at her approvingly. "Yeah. Yeah, I fuckin' like that. Set some fires, maybe, for the smoke. That'll set some animals to rampaging around, too, stompin' and makin' noise." JEN "Where do snakes live? Trees? Caves? Maybe we can just burn it and if it makes it out, we chop its head off!" IZZY "Fuckin' trees, aye, an' burrows. Big fucker like that, bet it lives in a cave. Or a real fuckin' huge tree -- sort we'd be able to spot an' find real easy." God, that'd make things fucking simple. That'd be nice. "Cave'd be harder. Could maybe collapse one in on it, though. Dynamite, an' y'know --." He stomped his boot on the floor for effect. "Fuckin' earthquake magic. I can do some fuckin' tremors." JEN "Nice! Yeah." Larkin swatted the table. "Yeah." She pointed at the ceiling. "Gotta keep it on the down-low, though. He's gonna freak if he knows." IZZY Hansel nodded. "Yeah, yeah, definitely. Won't be too fuckin' hard, given he ain't talkin' or movin' around." Then he remembered what he was doing and glanced back over at the counter guiltily. "Oh. Fuck. I'm makin' him cupcakes to see if I can get'im to eat. I gotta get back to that." He felt a lot fucking better, though, with some kinda plan. Not just aimless anger and that useless fucking frustration. Yeah, this was better. Fucking solving problems and shit. JEN "An you think that's gonna work?" Larkin asked, casting a doubtful glance at the battlefield. IZZY "Dunno. He really fuckin' likes chocolate cake," Hansel said, though he had his own doubts. "Figure I'm gonna sit by the bed an' talk to'im 'til he pokes his head out. Or a hand, anyhow." JEN "You got a key or do you need me to break in?" IZZY "Oh, aye. He's holed up in my room. Gotta key." JEN Larkin just nodded. At least someone had access to him. IZZY "Just been, y'know, lettin' him be. Tryin' to think of something I can fuckin' do." He straightened up a bit. "You wanna go sit with him while I'm busy? Probably still won't say shit, but." JEN Larkin made an eeehh sound. "Dunno if he wants me there. He doesn't really..." She shrugged. "Come to me. When he's like this. Don't think I can help him." IZZY "He ain't comin' to me, either," Hansel grumbled. Larkin and Goro had been close before Hansel'd come into the picture, he knew, but Hansel was ... pushy. Made him nervous sometimes, but Goro seemed like he needed it. And Hansel didn't think Larkin tended to be pushy, like that. "Would probably like it if you were there," he said. "Just might not say so." JEN "Hm. That's fine, I mean... him not saying so. I just-- ugh, dunno. You're better at this. It's different when it's you, I bet." IZZY "Ehhh." Hansel made a wavy hand gesture. "S'just 'cause I can pick'im up and make'im do stuff." He thought about what Goro had said -- about Hansel being his anchor and his life preserver. His balance. "Hold him in place when he needs it. Goro don't know what he needs, a lotta the time." JEN Larkin hummed at that again. "Well, alright. I can do that. Guess he can tell me to fuck off if he wants." IZZY "Aye." Hansel dug his keychain out of his pocket. There were three keys, 'cause three locks was the least he could get away with if he wanted his skittish cat husbands to spend the night with him. He offered it out for Larkin. "Lay on him, maybe," he suggested. "Dunno." JEN Larkin snorted. "That's not gonna work out." IZZY "Psshh, he can thrash around if he wants you t'stop." JEN "Uh-huh, alright." She took the keys then paused to squint at them. "Feels like I'm leanin' things I really didn't wanna know about. Eh." She pushed her chair back and stood up. "Well, then, gonna report to hugging duty I guess." IZZY Hansel snorted. "Hey, you ain't gotta make it somethin' it ain't." JEN "I don't get it and I don't want to." IZZY He sort of snorted again, verging on a snicker, and pushed himself up, too. Without really thinking about it too much, he stepped in to grab Larkin in a hug. "I'm real fuckin' glad he's got you, y'know." JEN "Oh, huh," she made, surprised. "Well, uh. Same, man." She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. "You've been real fucking good for him." IZZY "Aye." Before he chickened out, he added, "Real glad I got you, too. Uh. Just so you know." JEN "Hey now," Larkin said, patting Hansel's back. "Don't get all fucking sentimental 'n shit on me. Might just... y'know. Hrm." IZZY "Shank me?" he suggested. JEN "Mask," she muttered, still patting. "Fucking-- thought about it for real. I'm glad I didn't, though. Real fucking glad." IZZY He gave her a firm squeeze -- not a Goro or Jonn level squeeze, but the sort that you gave most people. "Aye, me too." JEN Larkin snickered. "Yeah, I bet." Then she let go because the hug had gone on long enough and she was starting to feel awkward about it. IZZY Hansel let her go, 'cause he figured she was most people, and he wasn't, 'cause he did like those firm hugs that went on for a long time. "Psshh," he said, feeling weirdly pleased and not all together sure why. Just happy, he supposed. Being married to Goro, being Larkin's cousin, by rights, generally not being fuckin' dead. "Gonna kill that snake," he repeated, just for good measure. "Aye?" JEN "Aye." --- Larkin knocked before entering the room. Not because she expected an answer but she figured Goro would appreciate the warning. "Hey, buddy," she called. "It's me. Hansel gave me the keys so... I'm comin' in, alright?" Then she started undoing tbe locks. LINA Inside, on the bed, was a Goro-shaped lump covered by a weighted blanket. A hand popped out from under the covers and flapped around in a wave. JEN Aww, there they went. Larkin redid the locks so he wouldn't feel too exposed and walked over to sit on the bed. She took the flapping hand and squeezed it. "Hansel, uh. Told me." Another squeeze. "There something I can do for you?" LINA Goro just squeezed her hand back and curled up tighter. JEN "Uh-huh, alright." Larkin patted the lump that was her friend. She eyed it, looking for a way under the covers but Goro had sealed himself up tight. "I'm gonna... just swat me if you want me to fuck off, yeah?" Larkin shifted to stretch out beside him and just put an arm over the heap and under where she suspected was his head. LINA "Mmph." Goro's arm snaked out from under the blanket to wrap around her and hold her close. JEN She took this opening to worm her way under the blanket, a little bit at least, until she could properly pull him against her and feel him bury his face in her shoulder. Her hand on his back stroked slow circles. LINA Goro let out a breath and relaxed against her. JEN "It's not gonna happen again," Larkin said quietly. "You hear me? It's not." Category:Text Roleplay